Embracing your body after pregnancy isn’t easy. Most of us walk into motherhood understanding there will be a lack of sleep and ample spit-up stained shirts, but I don’t think we are prepared for the disconnected, and sometimes unrecognizable postpartum body. With the social media messaging limited to “get your body back” or “embrace your tiger stripes” it’s no wonder we are left feeling alone and less than.

Maybe you’ve already joined me in saying F U to the “get your body back” messaging, but it’s a BIG jump to embracing those tiger stripes and fully loving your postpartum body. The conversation is more nuanced than this love-hate dichotomy presents. Plus, if you’ve experienced pregnancy loss, like I have, then this relationship may be even more complicated. 

3 Steps to

Embracing Your Body 

After Pregnancy

Ditch the yoga pants.

Okay not really, because yoga pants definitely still make up 75% of my wardrobe, but ditch what the “yoga pants” may represent.  Don’t wait to hit a certain size/weight/unicorn status to get clothes that fit and make you feel like the GD queen you are. You deserve to dress your rocking mom-bod in a way that makes you feel confident and sexy AF. 

When I was 3 or 4 months postpartum and feeling 4 months pregnant, I was sporting the saggiest, saddest pair of jeans. They were the only thing in my closet that fit and I didn’t know how to buy new clothes for this unfamiliar body. Maternity clothes were too big, my pre-pregnancy clothes were way too small. So I was left with these saggy jeans and some threadbare yoga pants. I looked exactly how I felt: like crap. 

But I was tired of feeling crap. Rushing my postpartum recovery and stressing to lose weight wasn’t the answer (which side note: stress makes weight loss damn near impossible). I finally decided I’d find clothes to fit my body well in this season.

I found jeans at Madewell, their curvy fit is legit, and I ordered style boxes from Stitchfix and Dia & Co, investing in solid wardrobe staples I felt good in. 

Action step: Find an outfit you feel really good in.

Get $25 off your first order with Stitchfix!

 

Follow these two rules.

Body positivity and seeking change don’t need to be contradictory. To find the intersection, we need to understand two very important things:  

1. Your size, stretch marks, or birth experience do not dictate your worthiness for care. Your value as a human being, as a parent, as a partner, as a co-worker, as a homemaker is so much more than your fitness level, size, stretch marks, birth story.
2. This is a season and seasons are temporary. Our bodies are constantly changing, evolving, and adapting through seasons of life. Pregnancy, birth and postpartum are simply some of the most extreme seasons. Bones and organs moved, tissues grew and stretched to accommodate new life. The body you have today will never be the body you had before pregnancy. Sure, you may wear the same size again, but your body has evolved into something so much greater. 

Remember when I bought those new jeans? I gave myself a pep talk with these two rules before I walked into the store. The size of jeans has nothing to do with my value. This is the season my body is in (a squishy, wide hipped season). If the jeans don’t fit? That’s the brand’s loss, not mine. 

Implementing these two rules asks us to notice without judgement. This takes some serious practice, but is well worth it. If you’re looking in the mirror, notice and tell the judgey voice to STFU, if necessary.

For example

Noticing without judgment:

My belly is really squishy today and I have dimples on my thighs. 

Noticing with judgment:

My belly is really squishy today and I have dimples on my thighs, so clearly I am a worthless slug of a human being.

See the difference? The first statement is entirely true. My belly is very squishy today and I do have dimples on my thighs. BUT the conclusions that this makes me a worthless slug of a human is entirely false.

Body positivity and seeking change don’t need to be contradictory. You can seek change from an empowered place, by embracing the season you are in and understanding that your value is not rooted in your size.

Action step: Practice noticing without judgement.

 

Practice whole self-care.

Self-care is more than bubble baths and charcoal masks, though we are a fan of both. Self-care is about filling your cup, rather than drawing from it. Practice whole self-care by supporting your physical, social, emotional and mental health. Ask yourself “What can I do to take care of my physical/social/emotional/mental health today?”

 

1. Physical Self-Care

   1. Eat nourishing foods that make you feel energized.
   2. Move your body in a way you enjoy. 

2. Social Self-Care

   1. Curate your social media feed by following accounts that show a VARIETY of postpartum bodies. Postpartum looks and feels different on everyone, despite what media likes to make us think. Our favorite: @4thTriBodiesProject
   2. Set boundaries and practice saying no.
      

3. Emotional Self-Care

   1. Start each day with a gratitude practice.
   2. Practice kindness and compassion, both for yourself and for others.

4. Mental Health Self-Care

   1. Unplug & turn inwards. Practice yoga or meditation. 
   2. Spend time in nature, finding space to quiet your mind.

Action Step: Intentionally practice whole self-care each day.