5 Ways to Support Grieving Parents After Pregnancy Loss  

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  1. Cindy says:

    I really treasure the friends who text or send a note on Mothers’ Day telling me that I’m a great mom to *both* Max and Nicholas. In the first few months after Nicholas passed away, I also weirdly felt comfort in the very few people who would refer to my pregnancy almost offhand, like “That’s right, you weren’t at that party because you were pregnant with Nicholas and not drinking” or whatever. Just to have it acknowledged and normalized was so different than the silence.

  2. Maura Carr says:

    My baby Niece Audrey was born on my birthday December 20, 2012 at 27 weeks. After spending time in the NICU she was able to come home but sadly passed away February 14, 2013 from SIDS. Valentine’s Day of all days.
    It was hard to know how to support my brother in law and sister in law. Their close friends are hair stylists and on the day of her memorial they came over to their house and styled their hair. It was what they could give and such a perfect gesture.
    I got a collage photo frame and printed out the few pictures of Audrey we had. I left them in the photo envelope and put them in the bag with the frame with a return receipt in case it was too much. I felt at their own time they could make a collage of her, and they eventually did at their own time when they were ready. It hangs in their house today, downstairs.
    At her memorial they played “Somewhere over the rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole. To this day it always makes me think of Audrey. I always throw out a text to my sister in law to tell her I’m thinking of Audrey.
    One thing my brother in law said was, “I want people to talk about her. Talk to us about her. She had a name. She existed.”
    So we still talk about her. 7 years later and it still isnt easy, but when we talk about her it comforts my brother in law and sister in law. Every Valentine’s day my husband and I do a shot for Audrey and every year we send them a picture of us toasting saying “To Audrey” and we will continue to do so, because she existed and deserves to be remembered just like all loved ones no matter how big or small.

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