When approaching self-care after pregnancy loss, the most important thing to know is your version of self-care does not need to look like anyone else’s. For those struggling with anxiety and depression, something common with parents after pregnancy loss, adopting the instagrammable self-care practices that we think we SHOULD be doing, causes more stress. F that. 

Choose self-care practices that calm, ground, and overall make YOU feel better. Maybe that’s a bubble bath and a walk outside, binge watching netflix or getting sweaty with a good workout. It is entirely up to you.

Here are my top 5 ideas for self-care after pregnancy loss that aren’t bullshit. 

• • Curate your social media feed. If you’re going to spend time scrolling, make sure your feed is filled with things that lift you up. Have a friend that’s newly pregnant or just had a baby? Maybe this isn’t jiving with you, right now. You can mute friends, without unfollowing them. I follow, unfollow, mute and unmute all the time. 
  • Allow yourself to receive help and care. It may not be easy, but allowing yourself to be fully supported will create space for processing, grief and growth. You are not a nuisance. People want to help. 
  • Say No. You have the choice to show up however you please and you certainly do not need to be all things to all people. Say no to the things that do not fill you up.
  • Create Boundaries and let people know about them These can be emotional, physical, or social. You may discover your relationships, energy, and capacity may change, and that’s okay. Be straightforward and honest about what you need and what you could use less of.
  • Practice positive self-talk. Anxiety, depression, trauma, and postpartum hormones can shift the internal monologue, and not necessarily in a positive way. If you find yourself tearing yourself down. Pause, take a breath and shift the conversation. Tell yourself 3 positive things about yourself. Keep practicing this shifting conversation.